


i will be the one you need (i just can't be without you)

by allthisandheaven_too



Category: Atypical (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 14:13:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16934757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allthisandheaven_too/pseuds/allthisandheaven_too
Summary: Casey and Izzie are forced to share a tent on a school trip days after the 7-11 parking lot. Post-season 2 finale.





	i will be the one you need (i just can't be without you)

**Author's Note:**

> This is yet another result of me getting too carried away with tumblr prompts. If you want to send me a prompt, you can find me at brig-lundypaine.tumblr.com!
> 
> The title is from Geyser by Mitski, which aside from being very sad is also very much a cazzie song.

After dropping Izzie off, Casey drives a few blocks, then pulls over and leans her forehead on the steering wheel. 

She and Izzie had held hands during the entire drive to Izzie’s house, but when they’d arrived, it was like whatever fog had settled over Casey in the 7-11 parking lot had suddenly been blown away, and she’d practically yanked her hand away. She regretted it deeply and instantly, and even more when Izzie’s eyes began to water and she threw open the door of the truck and leapt out without even saying goodbye.

Casey’s phone buzzes.

Exhaling heavily, Casey raises her head and reluctantly checks the screen, expecting to see Evan’s name. But instead it’s her mom, asking when she’ll be home. 

Casey takes a few breaths to calm herself, then pulls away from the curb.

* * *

When Casey walks through the door of her house, her mother greets her with a sheet of paper. “There you are,” she says, shoving it into Casey’s hands. “I didn’t want to rush you and Izzie, but the trip is in two days and you haven’t even started packing yet, have you?”

Casey blinks. “The what?” 

She looks down at the paper. At the top, it says _Packing List_ , and beneath that, _Clayton Sophomore Class Camping Trip_.

Elsa frowns, concerned. “We were just talking about it yesterday. Don’t you remember?”

“Right.” Casey snaps back to alertness. “Yeah, right. Obviously.” 

She pushes past her mom and up the stairs, ignoring Elsa’s probing “Is everything okay?” 

Trying to find the items on the list is a welcome distraction from the emotional whirlwind of the past week, and Casey throws herself into it headfirst. Evan texts again when she’s trying to force her backpack shut, the poor bag nearly splitting at the seams. She really needs a duffel bag, but she doesn’t want to ask her mother for one and thereby open herself up to further inquisition. 

She forces herself to look at her phone.

**Evan Tuba (Missed Call)**

**Evan Tuba (Missed Call)**

**Evan: hey what’s going on**

**Evan: I thought we were hanging out???**

**Evan Tuba (Missed Call)**

**Evan: call me**

Casey takes a deep breath, flops down on the carpet, and hits the call button.

“Casey, what the hell?”

“I’m sorry,” she says, and immediately feels pressure behind her eyes. She swallows hard. “I was hanging out with Izzie, and—”

Evan scoffs. “Izzie. Of course.”

Casey’s heart clenches, but she decides not to make a larger mess than this already is. “—and I lost track of time. I’m sorry.” Evan is silent, so she adds, “She wanted to apologize for how she acted, and I missed having her around so much that when we made up I just… yeah. I’m so so sorry, Evan.”

He exhales, and Casey knows she’s forgiven, but she doesn’t feel any less awful. “No, yeah. I know you missed her. I get it.” She can almost hear the smile return to his voice as he says, “Let’s just hang out tomorrow.”

Casey bites her lip. “I… can’t.”

“What? Why?”

“I forgot I signed up for this stupid thing,” she says, staring at the packing list lying on the floor beside her. “It’s the end-of-the-year camping trip for the entire sophomore class. We leave in two days, and I’ve barely started packing.”

Actually, Casey doesn’t think the trip was stupid. Or she didn’t when Izzie dragged her by the hand to the main office to sign up all those weeks ago. 

_“Just you and me in the wilderness, Newton.”_

_“Can’t wait.”_

Even though now she doesn’t even know what she and Izzie are, or even if Izzie will ever talk to her again after the incident in the car what feels like years ago, she’s at least hoping that this trip will give her a chance to fix things. Or at the very least figure them out.

“How long will you be gone?”

“Um…” Casey checks the sheet. It doesn’t say. “A few days, a week maybe?”

“So, what then?” He’s angry again. Casey feels her throat close as he continues, “You spend a week having one big sleepover with all those spoiled rich brats, and what am I supposed to do?”

“Evan, it’s not that big of a deal,” Casey protests. “I’ll literally be back in a week and then we can hang out all you want.”

“Oh, you forgot.” He laughs bitterly. “All _I_  want. Jesus.”

Her heart sinks. “Forgot what?”

“Beth and I are going to visit our aunt in Toronto for a month. And we’re leaving in a week.”

“Oh. Oh god, no, Evan, I totally forgot.”

“You know, the sad thing is I’m not even surprised. All you ever do these days is spend time with Izzie, or talking to Izzie, or worrying about Izzie, or— god, it’s like you’re dating her and not me!”

“Evan, no,” Casey tries, aware of how weak her voice sounds. “That’s not— She’s my friend.”

“If that’s how you treat your friends, you’d think you’d treat your boyfriend at least the same, if not better.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” she mumbles.

“Don’t go on the trip.”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“But— But we’ve been looking forward to this for so long.”

“ _We?_  What _we?_  Because it’s definitely not you and me, that’s for sure.”

“Evan—”

“You know what? No. I’m sick of this. Either you don’t go on the trip, or we’re done.”

Casey can’t help the shocked laugh that escapes her. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“No, Casey, I’m not fucking kidding. Do I sound like I’m fucking kidding?”

“You can’t tell me not to hang out with my friends! What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“It’s your choice.”

“I’m not doing this over the phone. If you’re still here, we can talk about this when I get back. Otherwise, I’ll see you in a month.” Casey pulls the phone away from her ear and hangs up so she doesn’t have to hear his response. 

Then she curls up into a ball and cries.

* * *

The bus ride to the campgrounds is quite possibly the loneliest that Casey’s ever experienced in her life. When she pulled up to Clayton early that morning, Izzie was just getting out of Quinn’s car. Their eyes met, and then Izzie pointedly looked away and locked arms with Quinn. They sat together on the bus too, leaving Casey alone at the front with the chaperones. The two-hour drive feels like an eternity.

When they get to the campgrounds, all the sophomores spill out of the buses and head to the nearest chaperone to get their tent assignments. Casey hoists the duffel bag her mom ended up forcing upon her on her shoulder and starts for the closest chaperone. Then she hears an angry voice that she recognizes all too well.

“I _know_  what it says on the sign-up sheet, but Quinn already said it was fine with her and Penelope. Can't you just let me stay with them?”

Casey turns to see Izzie arguing with another chaperone. She walks over to the pair just in time to hear the chaperone reply, “It’s two people to a tent, and that’s final. If you’d like, we can wait until everyone’s paired off and then send you home.”

Izzie notices Casey for the first time and huffs. “Whatever.” She grabs the map of the campgrounds from the chaperone and stalks away, not waiting for Casey. 

Casey takes a map herself, murmurs a soft “Thanks,” and quickly follows. Izzie has managed to disappear in the chaos, and when Casey finally finds her way to their assigned location, she finds Izzie almost finished setting up their tent. 

“Wow, that was fast,” she says, trying a smile.

Izzie rolls her eyes, throws her bag inside the finished tent, and stalks off across the grounds to where Quinn and Penelope are struggling with their tent poles. Casey crawls inside and unrolls her sleeping bag. After a moment of consideration, she unrolls Izzie’s too. Then she lays down on her sleeping bag and stares at the orange polyester of the tent’s roof, praying for the week to pass quickly.

* * *

In the middle of the night, Casey is awoken by the sound of whimpering.

She blinks, eyes adjusting to the darkness. “Iz?” she murmurs, fumbling around for her flashlight. 

A soft “No” comes from Izzie’s side of the tent, and then a frantic “No, please.” Casey manages to flip on her flashlight, filling the tent with warm light. Izzie doesn’t wake, and in the new brightness Casey can see tears streaking her cheeks. 

“No!” Izzie cries out suddenly, and Casey drops the flashlight and scrambles over to her. She touches Izzie lightly on the shoulder. 

“Izzie,” she says. 

“Leave her alone,” Izzie sobs. “Leave us alone.”

“Izzie, wake up.” Casey shakes her gently. “Wake up.”

Her eyes fly open,wide and fearful, and she snaps upright with a gasp.

“Hey, hey, you’re okay.” Casey rubs her shoulders. “You’re okay. It’s just a dream.”

"C-Casey?" Izzie rasps. “W-what– Where is he? Where-”

"It's okay," Casey repeats. “It’s just me. It’s just me.” She squeezes Izzie's hands. “I’m here.”

Izzie pulls her hands away. “Why do you care?" 

“How can you even ask me that?” Casey blinks, vision suddenly watery. “You’re my best friend, Iz. You’re… you’re everything.”

Izzie’s lips part just a bit, and her eyes fill anew with tears. Casey can feel the anger rolling off her in waves, and below all that, something quieter, blue. Hurt. 

“Could’ve fooled me,” she says, but it doesn’t quite sound as sharp as she intended. 

“Izzie, I’m _sorry._ ” Casey sits up again. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, I just— this is all so new to me, but I’m trying to figure it out. I want—”

“You want Evan.”

“I never said that.” Casey sighs. “How I feel about Evan doesn’t change how I feel about you. If anything, he’s… Look, I’m trying to figure out more than just you and me, okay?”

“Well, I’m not going to be the girl who just waits around for you to ‘figure things out’ and eventually decide it was easier being straight or whatever, so you go back to him and I’m left here with a broken fucking heart.”

Casey’s voice breaks. “That’s not fair.”

Izzie crosses her arms, avoiding Casey’s eyes. “None of this is fair.”

“Just give me some fucking time! Just—” Casey swipes angrily at her eyes. “It’ll be over soon, one way or another. I just need some time.”

“What are you talking about?”

“He’s breaking up with me, okay?” Casey buries her face in her hands. “He told me if I went on this trip he would break up with me, and I went anyway, and what does that say about me?”

“Oh, Casey—”

“Everything’s a mess and I’ve tried so so hard but it’s just not enough for you or him or anyone, I— I just, I can’t—”

And with that, Casey pushes herself to her feet and does what she does best: she runs.

Through the campgrounds, past the last few stragglers still roasting marshmallows and sneaking sips from the flasks they smuggled on the bus, past the parking lot, all the way into grass and through the trees until she breaks through into a clearing of some sort, and as far as the eye can see there’s nothing but moonlit grass and open sky. 

Casey stops in her tracks, panting. The night seems to swallow her, muffling the sounds of her pounding heart and shaky tearful gasps. 

“Casey.”

She turns. Izzie stands before her, barely winded. 

“I just want...” Casey trails off, and Izzie takes her hand. 

Casey doesn’t let go this time.

With her free hand Izzie touches Casey’s jaw, tilting it up, and whispers “I’m sorry.”

“No,” Casey replies, shaking her head just slightly, and then she throws her arms around Izzie’s neck and they crash together. 

Izzie pulls her lips away first. She leans her forehead head against Casey’s.

“What are we gonna do?” Casey murmurs. Tears roll down her cheeks. 

Izzie cradles Casey’s face in her hands and wipes them away with her thumbs. “We’ll figure it out. I promise.”

“Okay.” Casey finally smiles, gaze lowered to Izzie’s lips. “Can we...”

Izzie giggles and kisses her again, and again, and again. 

When they pull apart for the last time, Izzie looks up. “Look at the stars,” she marvels. 

Out here in the forest, miles away from the nearest source of artificial light, the sky is practically drenched in stars. They twinkle bright and clear in the midnight blue.

Izzie drops to the ground, pulling Casey down with her. They lie in the grass, still holding hands, and stare at the sky for a while.

“I wish I knew any constellations,” Izzie finally says, laughing. She moves to rest her head on Casey’s chest, and Casey wonders if Izzie can hear how fast her heart is beating.

“You’re in luck,” she says, trying to keep her voice steady. “You are currently in the presence of Newton’s official unofficial stargazing expert.”

“Official unofficial?”

“Yeah, Sam’s the official official.  But I picked up a few things from him .”

Izzie laughs. “Well then, show me what you’ve got.”

Casey grins and points up at a particularly bright star. “Okay, see that?” Izzie nods. “That’s the start of the Libra constellation. You follow it up from there, over to there...”

Casey points and directs and Izzie follows, wrapping her arm around Casey’s chest and cuddling closer to her. The stars glitter down upon them as they laugh and whisper in the moonlit grass. 

* * *

The second day is infinitely better than the first, for obvious reasons. Casey and Izzie spend it going for runs in the forest and swimming in the lake, and at nightfall, after dousing themselves in bug spray, they warm up by a campfire with a few of the other members of the track team. Much to Casey’s astonishment, Izzie has never made a s’more before, so Casey shows her how. They spend the rest of the night feeding each other s’mores between sips from Quinn’s vodka until it’s time to return to the tent. 

They stumble in and Casey’s barely zipped up the flap before Izzie tackles her to the ground, kissing her hard on the lips. Her skin is flushed from the alcohol and warm from the fire, but her hair hasn’t quite dried and tickles Casey with drops of water. Casey laughs against her lips and kisses harder.

“You’re pretty,” she mumbles later as they lay side by side in the darkness, facing each other. Casey has the back of her hand on Izzie’s cheek when she says this, running her knuckles down her jawline. A sliver of moonlight cuts through the sheer top of the tent, falling directly on their faces. They’ve zipped their sleeping bags together.

Izzie smiles dreamily. “You’re prettier.”

“Shut up.”

“You shut up.”

“I asked you first.”

“I asked you second.” 

Casey rolls her eyes. Izzie giggles, but it’s interrupted by a yawn. “I’m sleepy,” she complains.

“Then sleep.”

Izzie pouts. “But then I won’t get to see your face anymore. And I like your stupid face.” She shakes her head. “No. I love your stupid face.”

Casey bites her lip. “Yeah?”

“Uh huh.” Izzie scoots closer to Casey, enough to tuck her head beneath Casey’s chin. “So much,” she trails off, and within seconds both of them are completely and totally asleep.

* * *

Izzie has another nightmare that night, worse than the night before. She wails and thrashes around, hitting Casey in the chest and the face and waking her up. It takes significant shaking for Casey to rouse her, and when her eyes open, she looks around in fright and is unable to process Casey’s reassurances that “It’s just me, Iz. It’s just me.”

“Where is he?” she gasps, whipping her head around. “Where is he?”

“Shh.” Casey runs her hands up and down Izzie’s arms. “Shh. He’s not here. It’s just me.”

“My siblings… he…” Izzie trails off, and her eyes focus on Casey and the tiny scratch on her cheek and her lips quiver. “Oh god.”

Casey’s eyes widen. “What? What’s wrong?”

Izzie reaches out with shaky hands and touches the skin near the scratch. “D-did I—” 

Casey exhales in realization. “You were having a nightmare, and you were kind of— I mean, you were moving around a lot, and kind of… hitting, I guess, but it’s not— 

Izzie’s face falls. “Oh god, oh my god.” 

Casey takes both of Izzie’s hands, smiling in what she hopes is a reassuring way. “It’s nothing, okay? It’s just a scratch. I’m fine.”

Unconvinced, Izzie begins to cry. 

“I hurt you,” she manages to say between small hiccuping sobs that wrench Casey’s heart.

Casey shakes her head. “No.”

“I _hurt_ you.”

“Izzie, baby, it’s okay. It’s okay! I’m fine!” The nickname is so natural on her tongue, slipping out with an ease it never had with Evan, that Casey would be shocked if she had time. But the fact remains that Izzie is breaking in front of her and Casey can’t think about anything else but making her better. 

She pulls Izzie into her arms. “Shh.”

“I’m sorry,” Izzie sobs. She clutches Casey desperately. “I’m sorry.”

“Shh. You’re okay.”

“I don’t want to be scared.”

“I know.” Casey rocks her gently, ever so gently. “Shh.”

She holds Izzie until her sobs dissipate and her breathing slows. Finally, Izzie pulls back slightly, staring at Casey with a watery gaze.

“Sorry about that,” she says, in a shaky approximation of her normal voice. She laughs halfheartedly. “I didn’t mean to go all—” She waves a hand. “You know.”

Casey leans forward and presses a soft kiss to Izzie’s forehead. 

“You can be scared with me,” she says quietly. 

Izzie sniffles. “Can we look at the stars again?”

Casey smiles and unzips the door to the tent.


End file.
